How To Stay Motivated

How To Stay Motivated

Sustaining motivation can be tough under the best of circumstances. So how can you stay motivated when your to-do list runs to four pages, you just got another rejection letter, your adult child announced his plans to move back home, the car and washing machine went on the fritz at the same time and you can’t find time in the day to work on your own personal projects?

1. Set a goal and visualize it down to the most minute detail. 

See it, feel it, hear the sounds that accompany the end result (wind rushing through your hair, applause). Elite athletes visualize their performance ahead of time — right down to the smell of the sweat dripping down their face as they cross the finish line.

2. Make a list of the reasons you want to accomplish the goal. 

In our busy, distracting world, it’s easy to get blown off course. This is why you need to ground yourself in your goal. For extra “success insurance,” write your list with a pen. Studies show that when we write by hand and connect the letters manually, we engage the brain more actively in the process.

  1. Break the goal down into smaller pieces and set intermediary targets — and rewards.

A major source of stress in our lives comes from the feeling that we have an impossible number of things to do. If you take on a project and try to do the whole thing all at once, you’re going to be overwhelmed.

4. Have a strategy, but be prepared to change course. 

Let Thomas Edison inspire you in this department: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.” “The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

5. Get the help you need. 

It doesn’t necessarily take a village, but even if you could theoretically accomplish your objective alone, there’s inherent value in sharing your plan. It’s why people get married in front of witnesses. Announcing your intentions sends a strong message to the world and, more important, to your unconscious mind, which can sometimes sabotage our best efforts.

6. Pre-determine how you will deal with flagging motivation. 

This is not defeatist thinking. On the contrary! It’s (almost) inevitable that at some point along the way, whether because of temporary setbacks or sheer exhaustion, you will need a little boost.

 

Source: Forbes

 

Much loves

A xox

 

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Trouble Making Friends

Trouble Making Friends

Do you struggle to make friends? This isn’t something you simply have to accept – there are practical steps you can take to form friendships.

The 5-Point Friendship Plan
Some people make friends effortlessly. This isn’t because they’re any nicer or better than those who don’t – it’s because they know how to make conversation. If you feel like you never know what to say, this is for you.

1. Talk to everyone
Next time you buy something, make eye contact with the cashier and say, “Thanks, have a good day”. In the next shop, say something about what you’re buying, like “I’ve wanted this top for ages!” What you say doesn’t have to be original, it just has to be something! Practice really does make perfect, so try to say something to everyone you meet. This will build your confidence in social situations and allow people to see your personality.

2. Use body language
It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. If you seem approachable, friendly and relaxed, people will want to talk to you. How to do this? Make eye-contact and smile.

3. Choose your friends wisely
At school, there are cliques and tribes and everyone’s apparently supposed to know their place… but there will also be people who don’t fit in (or don’t want to fit in) who are friendly and won’t judge you. These are the people to turn to and often make the best friends anyway. It’s not that you need to make friends with people for the sake of it, but you don’t know what people are really like until you get to know them.

4. Be a good listener
You don’t have to be fascinating/beautiful/hilarious for people to want to talk to you. Listen to what people say, remember their names and their likes and dislikes and just take the time to learn more about them. Always having a better story than anyone else is a one-way ticket to seeming insecure and self-obsessed.

5. Have the courage of your convictions
Don’t say things you don’t believe to make people like you. It won’t work and you’ll seem desperate. Instead, believe in the value of your own opinions and don’t apologise for them. If someone says they hate a band you love, saying, “Really! I love their latest album” is better than, “I really like them, but then I’ve got bad taste”. When you like yourself, others will like you too and respect you for having an opinion.

Avoiding Procrastinating

Avoiding Procrastinating

To procrastinate is when you put off things that you should be focusing on right now, usually in favour of doing something that is more enjoyable or that you’re more comfortable doing.

 

Step 1: Recognize That You’re Procrastinating
If you’re honest with yourself, you probably know when you’re procrastinating.

Step 2: Work Out WHY You’re Procrastinating
This can depend on both you and the task. But it’s important to understand which of the two is relevant in a given situation, so that you can select the best approach for overcoming your reluctance to get going.

Step 3: Adopt Anti-Procrastination Strategies
Procrastination is a habit – a deeply ingrained pattern of behaviour. That means that you won’t just break it overnight. Habits only stop being habits when you have persistently stopped practicing them, so use as many approaches as possible to maximize your chances of beating them.

Other tips:

  • Make up your own rewards. For example, promise yourself a piece of tasty flapjack at lunchtime if you’ve completed a certain task. And make sure you notice how good it feels to finish things!
  • Ask someone else to check up on you. Peer pressure works! This is the principle behind slimming and other self-help groups, and it is widely recognized as a highly effective approach.
  • Identify the unpleasant consequences of NOT doing the task.
  • Filling your day with low priority tasks from your To Do List.
  • Reading e-mails several times without starting work on them or deciding what you’re going to do with them.
  • Sitting down to start a high-priority task, and almost immediately going off to make a cup of coffee.

I hope these help you to stop procrastinating 🙂

 

Source: Mind Tools

Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves

What makes you go tick like a ticking time bomb? What makes you go on edge and really gets on your nerves?? I know a few of mine are common so read about my pet peeves!

 

1. People eating with their mouths open

What is it about people when they eat with their mouths open like do not do that, I don’t want to see what’s in your mouth or what you’re chewing

 

2. When people arrive late

What annoys me the most about this is when they don’t say they’re going to be late or worst still they don’t apologise, like I’m here thinking that they’re not going to turn up, they turn up late and don’t even apologise for making me anxious about it

 

3. People scraping their food across their plates or bowls

DO NOT DO THIS! I will actually be forced to murder you! I hate it so much, can people not cut their food normally, must they actually DRAG their cutlery across the plate to cut their meat or whatever they’re eating, please don’t do this to me!

 

4. When people are on their phones all the time when they’re in company with someone else

Okay this one annoy me because you’re supposed to enjoy THEIR company not the company of people hitching about people on Facebook or what the latest love island gossip is. You can catch up with all of that when you’ve finished hanging out with your friends don’t miss out on an opportunity to hang out with your friends by being on your phone all the time, they’re not going to want to enjoy your company of you do that all the time!

So there you have it, those are some of my pet peeves, of course I have other ones but if i listed every single thing that annoyed me you’d be here for days! Except i hate it when people are online and they don’t read my message or reply like mate you’re online why dont you replyanyway if you want list your pet peeves in the comments or say if you have any that are the same as mine!

Positivity 

Positivity 

Do what you like 
You don’t even have to be super good in it and it doesn’t have to be something trendy or whatever. If you like it then do it because that will put you in a better mood which makes it easier to think positive and others will notice that as well.

Don’t compare yourself to others

Oh man. She is thinner, he has better grades and she has the “perfect” boyfriend you always wanted. And now? What does it change in your life? Nothing. Comparing yourself is useless and depressing so stop doing it. You can go in small steps but always remember that everyone has their mistakes and good sides. You do too, they may only differ.


Be grateful 

Always keep in your mind what you are grateful for. You may as well write it down. It can be simple things like your family, friends or even that you have clean water and food every day. All these things aren’t natural, not everyone has them, remember that and be grateful.


Spend time with people you like

Family and friends are the most important things to stay positive since we love them and enjoy the time we spend with them. So basically do that and you’ll already have more positivity in your life.


Collect compliments you get.

Literally. Take pieces of paper and a jar or a journal were you can write down every compliment you get. Maybe someone liked your hair or outfit today? Write it down. And if you feel insecure or depressed read through them and you’ll feel better instantly. Also if you feel okay do so once in a while because it will give you strength and optimism.


Have a journal 


This is useful for two reasons. First you can write down all your thoughts to free your mind. 
Second you can write down what you liked about the day every night. This will reflect all the positive things that happened this day and you can read through them whenever you like to always remember that in general you live a good life.

Positivity can come.

Peer Pressure

Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is feeling like you have to do something just because all your friends are doing it, it’s okay to say no and make your own decisions. People are often influenced to do things by the people around them; but peer pressure can land you in trouble.

Why do people give in to peer pressure? 

Most people like to fit in and it’s hard being the only one doing something different. Sometimes people are worried they’ll be bullied if they don’t go with the crowd, or they’ll lose their friends. Other times people do stuff because they think their friends will like them more, or because their mates are doing it so it seems normal.

What to do 
 
You’ll experience peer pressure all through life, so you’ll be one step ahead if you learn to deal with it now.

  • Choose your friends wisely. Focus on developing firm friendships with people with the same values and ideas as you. Even having one friend who’ll back you up when you want to go against the group will help.
  • Be strong. Go with what feels right and is true to you and what you believe. Good friends will respect your individuality and the fact that you have an opinion that may be different. Stand up for what you believe in and you’ll respect yourself more too.

Walking Away From Peer Pressure
 
It is tough to be the only one who says “no” to peer pressure, but you can do it. Paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help you know the right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can help you stand firm, walk away, and resist doing something when you know better.

It can really help to have at least one other peer, or friend, who is willing to say “no,” too. This takes a lot of the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist. It’s great to have friends with values similar to yours who will back you up when you don’t want to do something.

Dealing with it

  • Think about what someone gets out of pressuring you to do something. Is this really for your benefit? Or for theirs? What do they get out of forcing you to do something you don’t want to?
  • Think about what you are getting out of the choices you are making. What would you like for yourself in the future? How are the choices you are making now going to help or hinder your ability to achieve these goals? What might you do to get there in the most successful way you can?
  • Learning skills like assertiveness can help. This can mean using messages like “I think…”, “I feel…”, “I will…” or “I want…”.
  • If someone is pressuring you to do something you don’t want to, talk to someone you know will listen and help you. Keeping it inside and carrying your worries around can make things even harder to deal with.
  • Find things you are interested in.
  • Hang out with a range of different people and listen to what is important to them. There is no one way of doing or viewing things. Think about what is most important to you and who you are as an individual! You might find that a different group of people is more like you. Give it a go and find out! Giving it a go can mean you learn more about what is good for you – whether you decide that you think they are people you wouldn’t want for your friends, or ‘groovy hipsters’ (you’ve found a group that just suits you)!
  • Learn from your mistakes and learn from your peers – their successes and their mistakes. This can help you make positive choices about your own, swinging, fun-loving life!

Kids Health
Teens Health
Childline
BBC Advice

Much loves
A xox

Dating Apps And Relationships

Dating Apps And Relationships

Speaking as someone who has hardly any proper experience about dating and relationships, I don’t know if I will have any idea what I’m talking about but I can always do that thing of trying.

Relationships can be hard to deal with, you can argue a lot or you can go the whole relationship without arguing at all. Finding someone you want to share your life with can be difficult, but what better way to do it through a dating app, I mean what’s better than random men adding you on Snapchat wishing to get what they want from you. I was always a bit spetitical when it comes to dating and relationships through dating apps like Badoo or Tinder, I have gone through so many times where I’m like, oh yeah he’s the one, or he’s the one, just wishing for it to last, but they never do last.

There is also that thing of what do you talk about? What is there to talk about? Do we talk about sex, or is that too forward, do we talk about life and what we do? Or is that too personal. I always get stuck on what to say, so I just awkwardly wait for the conversations to start. As for talking on another platform, because let’s face it not many people like others seeing tinder flash up on their phone given their reputation, do you go for facebook messenger or snapchat. I don’t get why people only want to talk on snapchat, my experience is that means they aren’t really interested in you, just what you have to show.

I just don’t get the point in talking to someone for a long time, getting to know them and then leaving them for no reason and so randomly and out of the blue, what goes through their minds when they do that, I do not know.

But then there’s the complication if they live too far away, and you think awh maybe this guy could be great, he’s funny, smart, and we get along well, but would it be worth all those train journeys down to see them and vice versa, will it be all worth it in the end. I would never want to waste anyone’s time or give them the wrong intentions, I would never want to lead someone or make them think something that it’s not. But I think you should never chuck away something that could be great.

What are the chances on apps like Tinder that you’re going to meet someone who’s nice and clever and charming again? You should always do what you think is right and think how you feel, make your intentions clear because then they know whether to or not to carry on talking to you or if it would just be a waste of time.

It’s great when you find someone with those qualities and I just feel like it’s becoming increasingly difficult because people never make their intentions clear and what exactly they want, only maybe when you get too into talking to them and then that becomes complicated. Talking about sex with someone should never be something you should be scared of because it’s just sex, so what if you go too into detail, that’s all that it should be, a plain conversation, a great conversation though at that.

A guy I found recently totally gets me and what I’m about, we have great conversations, he’s not all about sex which is what I like about this guy. He’s charming and sophisticated, all around great, he’s possibly the best person I found via Tinder, and even though I’ve tried other apps I’ve always gone towards Tinder the most. He’s mature and knows what it’s all about, he’s cute but he has that side to him which makes him not intimated.

When is the right time to meet up with someone from your dating apps? Personally, I don’t think it should be straight away, at most a couple of weeks, if you’re still talking to one another still by then, you never know with people on tinder. You should arrange to meet in a public place, because then you know his intentions with you aren’t just sex. Go for a coffee have a chat, if you wanted to go back to their house to have wild sex then go ahead 😉 but all I am saying is be careful and make sure you make your intentions clear!

Relationships that are from talking on dating apps can be great, but you should always be careful about what you make clear about your intentions, always make them clear and precise, I mean do what you want with whoever you want, but there’s always that confusion of emotional attachment so you’re always going to have to be careful about what you say and how you say it.

I’m far from an expert when it comes to love and relationships, trust me with that, but this is just all what I think.