The Best Qualities In A Friend

  • Trustworthiness is often the “make or break” element in any interpersonal relationship. Any breach, regardless of perceived magnitude, can devastate a relationship. Trustworthiness is comprised of several components, including honesty, dependability, and loyalty, and while each is important to successful relationships, honesty and dependability have been identified as the most vital in the realm of friendships.
  • Honesty requires that we speak openly from the heart and incorporate objectivity into our words.
  • Being dependable means that friends can count on you to be there when you say you will, to do what you say you will, and to be willing to stand up for friends, especially when they can’t stand up for themselves. If you are as likely to let friends down as come through for them, the relationship often becomes superficial, less engaging, and even resentment-provoking, if it doesn’t end altogether.
  • Loyalty is valued early on in all of our relationships, from the time we make our first friendships. We need friends who won’t spill our secrets to others, gossip about us, or allow others to criticize us.
  • Being able to trust another person involves being comfortable with vulnerability. If you have difficulty sharing your authentic self with a friend, it is doubtful your friend will be easily willing to do this for you.

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Dating Apps & Online Relationships


Speaking as someone who has hardly any proper experience about dating and relationships, I don’t know if I will have any idea what I’m talking about but I can always do that thing of trying.
Relationships can be hard to deal with, you can argue a lot or you can go the whole relationship without arguing at all. Finding someone you want to share your life with can be difficult, but what better way to do it through a dating app, I mean what’s better than random men adding you on Snapchat wishing to get what they want from you. I was always a bit spetitical when it comes to dating and relationships through dating apps like Badoo or Tinder, I have gone through so many times where I’m like, oh yeah he’s the one, or he’s the one, just wishing for it to last, but they never do last.
There is also that thing of what do you talk about? What is there to talk about? Do we talk about sex, or is that too forward, do we talk about life and what we do? Or is that too personal. I always get stuck on what to say, so I just awkwardly wait for the conversations to start. As for talking on another platform, because let’s face it not many people like others seeing tinder flash up on their phone given their reputation, do you go for facebook messenger or snapchat. I don’t get why people only want to talk on snapchat, my experience is that means they aren’t really interested in you, just what you have to show.
I just don’t get the point in talking to someone for a long time, getting to know them and then leaving them for no reason and so randomly and out of the blue, what goes through their minds when they do that, I do not know.
But then there’s the complication if they live too far away, and you think awh maybe this guy could be great, he’s funny, smart, and we get along well, but would it be worth all those train journeys down to see them and vice versa, will it be all worth it in the end. I would never want to waste anyone’s time or give them the wrong intentions, I would never want to lead someone or make them think something that it’s not. But I think you should never chuck away something that could be great.
What are the chances on apps like Tinder that you’re going to meet someone who’s nice and clever and charming again? You should always do what you think is right and think how you feel, make your intentions clear because then they know whether to or not to carry on talking to you or if it would just be a waste of time.
It’s great when you find someone with those qualities and I just feel like it’s becoming increasingly difficult because people never make their intentions clear and what exactly they want, only maybe when you get too into talking to them and then that becomes complicated. Talking about sex with someone should never be something you should be scared of because it’s just sex, so what if you go too into detail, that’s all that it should be, a plain conversation, a great conversation though at that.
A guy I found recently totally gets me and what I’m about, we have great conversations, he’s not all about sex which is what I like about this guy. He’s charming and sophisticated, all around great, he’s possibly the best person I found via Tinder, and even though I’ve tried other apps I’ve always gone towards Tinder the most. He’s mature and knows what it’s all about, he’s cute but he has that side to him which makes him not intimated.
When is the right time to meet up with someone from your dating apps? Personally, I don’t think it should be straight away, at most a couple of weeks, if you’re still talking to one another still by then, you never know with people on tinder. You should arrange to meet in a public place, because then you know his intentions with you aren’t just sex. Go for a coffee have a chat, if you wanted to go back to their house to have wild sex then go ahead but all I am saying is be careful and make sure you make your intentions clear!
Relationships that are from talking on dating apps can be great, but you should always be careful about what you make clear about your intentions, always make them clear and precise, I mean do what you want with whoever you want, but there’s always that confusion of emotional attachment so you’re always going to have to be careful about what you say and how you say it.
I’m far from an expert when it comes to love and relationships, trust me with that, but this is just all what I think.

Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe

Ingredients

  • 150g salted butter, softened
  • 80g light brown muscovado sugar
  • 80g granulated sugar
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 large egg
  • 225g plain flour
  • ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda
  • ÂĽ tsp salt
  • 200g plain chocolate chip or chunks 

Method

  1. Heat the oven to 190C/fan170C/gas 5. Line two baking sheets with non-stick baking paper.
  2. Put the butter and sugars into a bowl and beat until creamy. Beat in the vanilla and egg.
  3. Sieve the flour, bicarbonate of soda and salt into the bowl and mix it in with a wooden spoon. Add the chocolate chips and stir well.
  4. Use a teaspoon to make small scoops of the mixture, spacing them well apart on the baking trays. This mixture should make about 30 cookies.
  5. Bake for 8–10 mins until they are light brown on the edges and still slightly soft in the centre if you press them.
  6. Leave on the tray for a couple of minutes to set and then lift onto a cooling rack.

    BBC Good Food

Real Techniques Brushes

What are Real Techniques?
These are some of the best brushes for makeup that you’ll find, and these are most-certainly some of the best around, matching in my opinion, with the Lottie London Brushes. Incase you’re not familiar, it’s a line by well known YouTuber Samantha Chapman. I first ran into these brushes when talking to a friend about some of the brushes we have and also would like to get, Each Real Techniques brush has it’s own name and it’s always written on the brush itself which is always useful.

The Price?
The brushes themselves are quite expensive for what they are and I’m not sure if I would buy a lot of them all at once, I’d have to, if I was going to buy them, I’d have to get one or two a month until I have all of them, I wouldn’t dare buy them all at once haha, that would be very damaging to my bank account since, they’re ÂŁ10.99 or more a brush, or a set for just under ÂŁ21.

The Brushes:

In the Real Techniques range there are lots of different brushes, they’re split into 3 catagories; face, eyes and finish, as you would expect, the face brushes would be bruses for your foundation, concealer and primer (if you choose it), the eye brushes would be for your eyeshadow, shading brush (for shading two colours of eye shadow together) and liquid eyeliner if you decide you want to apply it with a longer handled brush (always easier). And the finish catagory would be pressed powder, bronzer, highlight and contour (if you choose).

What can they be used for?

The Real Techniques range have a vace selection of brushes, here is a list of all the Real Technique brushes and
what the could be used for;

Base
– Stippling Brush: Apply liquid or cream foundation with this brush, and also cream blushes or highlighters.
– Blush Brush: As the name kindly suggests, use this for blusher, or as well as a pressed powder, bronzer or highlighter.
– Setting Brush: Can be used to apply under the eye concealer & highlighting targeted areas.
– Expert Face Brush: Used to apply liquid foundation.

Face (The Core Collection):
– Buffing Brush: Perfect for pressed powder, if you want full coverage.
– Contour Brush: Used to apply contour and highlighter.
– Pointed Foundation Brush: Can be used for foundation or blending out concealer under the eyes.
– Detailer Brush: Cover up small spots or blemishes with concealer, or as a smudgy eyeliner.

Eyes (The Starter Set):
– Deluxe Crease Brush: Used for liquid concealer
– Base Shadow Brush: Purely used for what the name suggests; EYESHADOW!!!
– Brow Brush: Can be used to fill in and shape your eyebrows as it’s angled, it’s good for that job!!
– Accent Brush: Perfect for highlighting smudgy eyeliner
– Shading Brush: Another eyeshadow brush, but for shading the colours!

All-in-all I think these brushes are such good quality at such a low price, although they are pricey just for a makeup brush, the quality of the brushes is amazing and I love how all the brushes do exactly the job that you anticipated for them to do.

Trusting People

I always think when meeting someone new there’s always that chance that they will become the biggest dickhead in the world – for whatever reason they may just not be what you’re looking for in a friend or whatever it is you’re looking for. Trust can’t always and shouldn’t just be given away, trust is earned, and they have to feel like they can trust you before they do. Perhaps if you tell them a secret and they don’t tell anyone else, if you ask “can I trust you” it’s obvious they’re going to say yes because that’s what they want to hear.

Trust is a really important thing in any friendship or relationship so to do something that the person knows will inevitable hurt them and as a result breaks the trust, you can’t go back to. Say if you’re married to someone and they decide to have an affair with someone else behind your back that is breaking the trust between the both of you. You said in your vows you wouldn’t do anything like that, why risk it to break the trust, forever in fact.

It can be a hard thing to build up but if you know that it’s something you want, you’ll let it take its course and it’ll build up in the time that it takes, even if that’s days, months or years even, keep going and keep doing what you’re doing to gain the trust of the other person. If they don’t trust you straight away, trust that it’s nothing that you’ve done, it’s probably because of the way someone broke the trust in the same situation. Some people are dickheads and they’ll just say what the person wants to hear, not always the best way to gain trust.

Trust is hard to gain and 10x easier to break. You have to think about the right time of when you want to trust them, of course you’d want to trust them straight away, who wouldn’t but sometimes it isn’t as easy as that. Everyone trusts people at different speeds but that’s probably because of how they’ve been treated before in similar or the same situations, if someone says to you they’d be there for you but end up leaving, that’s breaking the trust because they might have promised you they’d never leave, of course not everyone stays, that’s just part of life, but the important people will always stay no matter what.

It seems like a controversial topic to be honest, everyone’s “speed” of trusting people and what people think trusting someone means is different. You should never feel pressured about HAVING to trust someone because of course you don’t have to do that, anyone that wants to gain your trust will understand that it always takes time to gain that, anyone that asks for your trust straight away isn’t really worth knowing, it’s always a better idea to get to know someone first before you fully invest your time and effort into trusting them.

There is no right or wrong time to trusting someone and everyone is different, you’ll want to trust them in your own time, not because people tell you that the time it’s taking you is too long or too short, it’s between two people and if you care about each other you’ll have a mutual understanding of trust and how long it takes for other people because the trust has been broken in the same ways before, but it’s okay, take your time & don’t rush it, inevitably that’s where it all goes wrong.

The time I trusted someone too quickly
I have only ever trusted someone too quickly once before and because of that aftermath and what happened between us two it’s been difficult for me to trust people, I wouldn’t want the same thing to happen to me twice, it actually resulted in me having a pregnancy scare (blog post about that coming soon) and that experience is one I never want to experience again at least for the wrong reasons, he was a total douche bag about it never wanted to talk to me about it either, I wish I just took the time to trust him more, slowly and so that he trusted me too.

In conclusion all I want to say is don’t force the trust you want between you and someone else, it will come eventually if it is something that you both want. If you both have a mutual understanding of wanting to trust each other, it’s okay that it takes a little longer than usual, actually makes it stronger because you take the time and effort to trust someone! All good in the long run.

Cheating & Can Your Actions Be Justified?

If you cheat on someone you love…you simply do not love them, if you’re unfaithful, you are not in love with them. You actions can ever be justified, none of that “people make mistakes. I don’t care if you say “we’re all human”. Cheating is NOT a mistake, it is a CHOICE, and you choose to be unfaithful, you choose to be with someone else when you don’t have too. Cheating on someone is not a mistake when you truly love someone.

As a result, cheating is difficult to define because people differ in the type of contact they feel it is appropriate for a partner to have with someone else. Cheating is complex because the definition varies so widely. However, when someone violates partners’ expectations, the emotional outcome is the same – their partner feels betrayed and rejected. Cheating is also problematic because couples rarely discuss exactly what their expectations are.

In any given relationship, what one person considers to be acceptable may differ from what a partner thinks is appropriate. Many problems arise in relationships because people do not see eye-to-eye on this issue.

The first time that I was cheated on, it was horrible and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, about why I wasn’t good enough I didn’t get it. I was with him for so long I didn’t even think this was possible, I got back with him because I wanted to make things worse and I just didn’t want to be on my own, I was terrified of that. Being with someone for so long, and then for them to just betray you in no less than 24 hours is horrible, but course, that didn’t stop me getting back with the guy. No surprises that he did it again, this time he tried to make up so many stupid excuses, but there’s no excuses for it, especially if he’s said he wouldn’t do it again after he’s already done it once, it was inevitable, once a cheat, always a cheat.

He told me he was gay and that he “felt” gay about 6 months into the relationship, but what fucked me up the most about that was he waited until two years after to tell me that the first time he cheated on me was just an excuse for me to leave him, but I am a reasonable person and will always give people second chances, and I know in that situation I gave second, third or fourth chances, which I know was stupid but I was SO in love with him  I couldn’t help myself.

There were so many times that my friends wanted me to break up with him so I could just be happy
but there was always that part of me that wanted to stay because she didn’t want to be alone, but in the end, I felt more alone than ever anyway, didn’t do much difference to me anyway.

Being cheated on DOES affect someone in ways you won’t understand if you haven’t been cheated on, I don’t know what goes through someone’s head when they cheat, imagine breaking someone’s heart, and causing them so much pain & upset to that they can’t trust anyone without being crazy and paranoid that there’s someone else as well as them.

If you’re with someone who has been cheated on, you have to understand that they’re going to have trust issues and have issues with it. You have to understand that they might get angry or get confused as to why you like them, you have to be patient with them, because they’ve been betrayed, they’ve
been hurt and that’s always hard to get over.

Cheating on someone can never be justified, there’s no “buts” no “everyone’s human”. SHUT UP. That’s BULLSHIT and don’t even try and give your excuses. It’s horrible so I don’t suggest it, if you don’t like someone anymore, then why not just breakup with them, it won’t hurt any less but it might do you better in the long run.

Tiny Self-Care Ideas



Tiny Self-Care Ideas for the Mind
1. Start a compliments file. Document the great things people say about you to read later.
2. Scratch off a lurker on your to-do list, something that’s been there for ages and you’ll never do.
3. Change up the way you make decisions. Decide something with your heart if you usually use your head. Or if you tend to go with your heart, decide with your head.
4. Go cloud-watching. Lie on your back, relax, and watch the sky.
5. Take another route to work. Mixing up your routine in small ways creates new neural pathways in the brain to keep it healthy.
6. Pay complete attention to something you usually do on autopilot, perhaps brushing your teeth, driving, eating, or performing your morning routine.
7. Goof around for a bit. Schedule in five minutes of “play” (non-directed activity) several times throughout your day.
8. Create a deliberate habit, and routinize something small in your life by doing it in the same way each day—what you wear on Tuesdays, or picking up the dental floss before you brush.
9. Fix a small annoyance at home that’s been nagging you—a button lost, a drawer that’s stuck, a light bulb that’s gone.
10. Punctuate your day with a mini-meditation with one minute of awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations; one minute of focused attention on breathing; and one minute of awareness of the body as a whole.
11. Be selfish. Do one thing today just because it makes you happy.
12. Do a mini-declutter. Recycle three things from your wardrobe that you don’t love or regularly wear.
13. Unplug for an hour. Switch everything to airplane mode and free yourself from the constant bings of social media and email.
14. Get out of your comfort zone, even if it’s just talking to a stranger at the bus stop.
15. Edit your social media feeds, and take out any negative people. You can just “mute” them; you don’t have to delete them.

Tiny Self-Care Ideas for the Body
1. Give your body ten minutes of mindful attention. Use the body scan technique to check in with each part of your body.
2. Oxygenate by taking three deep breaths. Breathe into your abdomen, and let the air puff out your stomach and chest.
3. Get down and boogie. Put on your favorite upbeat record and shake your booty.
4. Stretch out the kinks. If you’re at work, you can always head to the bathroom to avoid strange looks.
5. Run (or walk, depending on your current physical health) for a few minutes. Or go up and down the stairs three times.
6. Narrow your food choices. Pick two healthy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners and rotate for the week.
7. Activate your self-soothing system. Stroke your own arm, or if that feels too weird, moisturize.
8. Get to know yourself intimately. Look lovingly and without judgment at yourself naked. (Use a mirror to make sure you get to know all of you!)
9. Make one small change to your diet for the week. Drink an extra glass of water each day, or have an extra portion of veggies each meal.
10. Give your body a treat. Pick something from your wardrobe that feels great next to your skin.
11. Be still. Sit somewhere green, and be quiet for a few minutes.
12. Get fifteen minutes of sun, especially if you’re in a cold climate. (Use sunscreen if appropriate.)
13. Inhale an upbeat smell. Try peppermint to suppress food cravings and boost mood and motivation.
14. Have a good laugh. Read a couple of comic strips that you enjoy. (For inspiration, try Calvin and Hobbes, Dilbert, or xkcd.)
15. Take a quick nap. Ten to twenty minutes can reduce your sleep debt and leave you ready for action.

Tiny Self-Care Ideas for the Soul
1. Imagine you’re your best friend. If you were, what would you tell yourself right now? Look in the mirror and say it.
2. Use your commute for a “Beauty Scavenger Hunt.” Find five unexpected beautiful things on your way to work.
3. Help someone. Carry a bag, open a door, or pick up an extra carton of milk for a neighbor.
4. Check in with your emotions. Sit quietly and just name without judgment what you’re feeling.
5. Write out your thoughts. Go for fifteen minutes on anything bothering you. Then let it go as you burn or bin the paper.
6. Choose who you spend your time with today. Hang out with “Radiators” who emit enthusiasm and positivity, and not “Drains” whose pessimism and negativity robs energy.
7. Stroke a pet. If you don’t have one, go to the park and find one. (Ask first!)
8. Get positive feedback. Ask three good friends to tell you what they love about you.
9. Make a small connection. Have a few sentences of conversation with someone in customer service such as a sales assistant or barista.
10. Splurge a little. Buy a small luxury as a way of valuing yourself.
11. Have a self-date. Spend an hour alone doing something that nourishes you (reading, your hobby, visiting a museum or gallery, etc.)
12. Exercise a signature strength. Think about what you’re good at, and find an opportunity for it today.
13. Take a home spa. Have a long bath or shower, sit around in your bathrobe, and read magazines.
14. Ask for help—big or small, but reach out.
15. Plan a two-day holiday for next weekend. Turn off your phone, tell people you’ll be away, and then do something new in your own town.